quiet thoughts.

i like laying in bed and letting my mind run wild. i realize that i'm not this free spirit that i try so hard to be. i worry a lot. grad school, money, my health (i'm 24, mind you), and other useless things.

where does this lead me? it's mentally exhausting.. i've tried reading tips on how to control stress and etc. but it doesn't work for me.

today nasa discovered new "strange" things in the universe. i like this quote: "The universe keeps making strange things stranger than we can think of in our imagination," said Jon Morse, head of astrophysics for NASA. kinda shows how small we really are. put things into perspective. life is fleeting. it comes and goes.. and never comes again. sigh....

on a brighter note i'm getting a dog! it's a crazy story actually, filled with love, hope, and endurance. i promise to love and care for her to the best of my ability and power. i don't think people realize how much i love dogs.. i'm so excited i can't sleep.. and it's only monday- i pick her up friday night.

money: my parents were dirt poor but things turned up for my family. my parents are troopers. they spoiled us. they didn't want us to have to struggle and worry about money so they did what they thought was best: throw money at us. and now i don't really have a grasp on the value of money. i need to learn how to budget, to say no to marc jacobs.

i'm not sure how i feel. maybe sad and depressed? i think to myself: do i like the direction in which i'm headed? am i happy? am i really happy? will i be okay? am i a good person? is there a heaven?

love is a bitch. but i keep coming back for more. compromise is the key to any relationship. i'm so impatient and i know i need to change. i need to stop being so childish when i don't get my way. forgive me.


my birthday. geez. this may sound strange but turning 25 is making me feel kinda nervous. no other birthday has bothered me as much as 25. 25 means that i'll have to get a job, no more calling parents for money. i'm growing up whether i like it or not.

my goals for this year:

exercise (yeah right)
more patience
travel more
help people more
love people more
laugh more
smile more
dance more
be vulnerable
say sorry more
be less selfish
save money


can't wait to post pics of monster (my new dog)

i named her monster because i used to be scared of monsters and now i can reclaim that word for the better if that makes sense.

over and under.

i suck at relationships. they go great in the beginning and it only goes downhill from there. i wanna say it's them and not me.. but i know i'm at fault as well. or maybe, just maybe i haven't met the right person yet. i'm very impatient and i have a very sharp tongue. and this tends to be a very bad combination.

my blog sucks

according to my friend bill, my blog pretty much sucks.

hopefully with the start of my new internship things will get a bit more exciting around here.

my passport came in the mail. now i just need a lot of money so i can actually go somewhere. one time i bought a very expensive wallet, but i didn't have any money. yeah.

my friend gave me a george foreman grill for freeeeeeee! so today i made chicken, rice, asparagus (my pee's gonna smell for a couple of days) and a glass of water for dinner. it was delish!

took this picture at pigeon point, what a great name huh?

i have the most nicest friend, and i wonder why he's still single. this is a messed up world. where looks come before personality. and riches before humility.

more than you'll ever know.

It's amazing how people can change over time. Not in a bad way, but it truly is amazing how people you once knew can become total strangers. One day your favorite color is purple, and now.. You don't even have a favorite anything. But I believe that together we can trudge through the mundane, and climb over the formulas in life. Triumph, and overcome we will.

I like when people laugh. That hearty laugh that you can't fake. When you laugh so hard your tummy hurts. I like those the best.

One of my life long goals is to be in the Aids Life Cycle. I had an excuse for every year. I'm not fit enough, my bike sucks, schools more important.. But last night I decided to start training for next years aids life cycle. I realized.. something will always come up, you just gotta grab the bike by the handles bar and ride.

I'm better than you in almost every way. Your fat, I'm fatter. Your mean, but I'm meaner. Your pretty dumb, but really.. I'm a lot dumberrrr. 

We are all great, in our own special way. 

We all mess up here and there, but it's gonna be alright. 

I guess life is about getting a job, and going on vacations once in awhile. Growing up sucks.