quiet thoughts.

i like laying in bed and letting my mind run wild. i realize that i'm not this free spirit that i try so hard to be. i worry a lot. grad school, money, my health (i'm 24, mind you), and other useless things.

where does this lead me? it's mentally exhausting.. i've tried reading tips on how to control stress and etc. but it doesn't work for me.

today nasa discovered new "strange" things in the universe. i like this quote: "The universe keeps making strange things stranger than we can think of in our imagination," said Jon Morse, head of astrophysics for NASA. kinda shows how small we really are. put things into perspective. life is fleeting. it comes and goes.. and never comes again. sigh....

on a brighter note i'm getting a dog! it's a crazy story actually, filled with love, hope, and endurance. i promise to love and care for her to the best of my ability and power. i don't think people realize how much i love dogs.. i'm so excited i can't sleep.. and it's only monday- i pick her up friday night.

money: my parents were dirt poor but things turned up for my family. my parents are troopers. they spoiled us. they didn't want us to have to struggle and worry about money so they did what they thought was best: throw money at us. and now i don't really have a grasp on the value of money. i need to learn how to budget, to say no to marc jacobs.

i'm not sure how i feel. maybe sad and depressed? i think to myself: do i like the direction in which i'm headed? am i happy? am i really happy? will i be okay? am i a good person? is there a heaven?

love is a bitch. but i keep coming back for more. compromise is the key to any relationship. i'm so impatient and i know i need to change. i need to stop being so childish when i don't get my way. forgive me.


my birthday. geez. this may sound strange but turning 25 is making me feel kinda nervous. no other birthday has bothered me as much as 25. 25 means that i'll have to get a job, no more calling parents for money. i'm growing up whether i like it or not.

my goals for this year:

exercise (yeah right)
more patience
travel more
help people more
love people more
laugh more
smile more
dance more
be vulnerable
say sorry more
be less selfish
save money


can't wait to post pics of monster (my new dog)

i named her monster because i used to be scared of monsters and now i can reclaim that word for the better if that makes sense.