over and under.

i suck at relationships. they go great in the beginning and it only goes downhill from there. i wanna say it's them and not me.. but i know i'm at fault as well. or maybe, just maybe i haven't met the right person yet. i'm very impatient and i have a very sharp tongue. and this tends to be a very bad combination.

my blog sucks

according to my friend bill, my blog pretty much sucks.

hopefully with the start of my new internship things will get a bit more exciting around here.

my passport came in the mail. now i just need a lot of money so i can actually go somewhere. one time i bought a very expensive wallet, but i didn't have any money. yeah.

my friend gave me a george foreman grill for freeeeeeee! so today i made chicken, rice, asparagus (my pee's gonna smell for a couple of days) and a glass of water for dinner. it was delish!

took this picture at pigeon point, what a great name huh?

i have the most nicest friend, and i wonder why he's still single. this is a messed up world. where looks come before personality. and riches before humility.

more than you'll ever know.

It's amazing how people can change over time. Not in a bad way, but it truly is amazing how people you once knew can become total strangers. One day your favorite color is purple, and now.. You don't even have a favorite anything. But I believe that together we can trudge through the mundane, and climb over the formulas in life. Triumph, and overcome we will.

I like when people laugh. That hearty laugh that you can't fake. When you laugh so hard your tummy hurts. I like those the best.

One of my life long goals is to be in the Aids Life Cycle. I had an excuse for every year. I'm not fit enough, my bike sucks, schools more important.. But last night I decided to start training for next years aids life cycle. I realized.. something will always come up, you just gotta grab the bike by the handles bar and ride.

I'm better than you in almost every way. Your fat, I'm fatter. Your mean, but I'm meaner. Your pretty dumb, but really.. I'm a lot dumberrrr. 

We are all great, in our own special way. 

We all mess up here and there, but it's gonna be alright. 

I guess life is about getting a job, and going on vacations once in awhile. Growing up sucks. 

Trial, error, and love.

How do we know when we love someone? And how do you make love last? 

I wish we knew who we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives with. But I guess that would take out the mystery, and surprise out of life. Sometimes easier is not always better. 

Is it better to have a good friend, or a good lover? 

No one said it would be easy. 

I'm falling apart, and I don't know why. I know why. Because I can't stand up for myself. 

24, and directionless. That feels about right. 

The worst feeling is that feeling you get when you realize you've been fooled. But at least your better because of it. Toying with ones emotions is cruel, and very unusual. But I guess that's the game of love. I'm going to write more, but the laundry's calling my name. 

people are stoopid.

i will not hang out with people who....

use money as a leverage

think they're better than everyone else

pick sides

have no moral compass

see people as objects

that is all for now.. 

i think your evil, and you have a bad heart. 

treat people the way you like to be treated. 

Wildly be who you are. 

euphoric moments.

Last weekend I drove up to Humboldt to see a potential grad school. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a robot. I really can't tell sometimes. Graduate school would mean more money.. But, I don't really need money. I'm happiest when I'm poor. But I know getting a masters would please my parents, and it might impress my friends or lovers. Haha. Elbert Park is a Master!  It has a nice ring to it. But really. Life is about choice. Vanilla or Chocolate. 

We were driving, and my friend slammed on the brakes. We almost hit a family of deer. Three to be exact. They looked our way, and just continued walking. We pulled over, and started following them. The quiet footsteps of the deer, I can only describe as euphoric and peaceful. They would occasionally shoot us a glance our way, and they continued walking. I think they just had dinner, and we taking a stroll. Graduate school, money, love, and robots were the last thing on my head. This experience was surreal, and utterly real at the same time. After about 7-8 minutes the deer turned left, and headed into the forest. I closed my eyes, and told myself I would never forget this moment. 

I have a choice. 

"Don't ask what what the world needs. Instead, ask what makes you come alive, And go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have truly come alive". 

I want to be alive. I had originally titled my blog 'the everyday', because I wanted to celebrate the small, beautiful things in life. To accentuate the everyday. To indulge in the small pleasures in life. Eating with friends, holding hands with lovers, crying when I am sad, and when I am happy. 

 I'm having a motherless Mother's Day. (my mom lives 6 hours away) So I'm spending it with a friend. Which reminds me of this quote I heard years back.

Treat your family like friends, and your friends like family. 

Happy Mother's Day.

Carl Jr.

This is my friend Carl Jr, but he goes by Carl most of the time. I've only met Carl for a short while, but it's been a great run so far. I met Carl through my classmate and friend Katie. They've been dating for about two years now.  The first time I really met Carl was at my house. We were having a party and I had invited Katie, and she brought Carl. We were having a great, drunk time. I played bartender that night and had made some really good but strong drinks. Needless to say, we were feeling pretty good. No matter where you were in the house, you heard Carl. He's a pretty loud guy, in a good way, not the annoying loud, but a funny, charismatic way. A couple hours pass and we hear a knock on the door. The cops decided to stop by because our neighbor decided to be a jerk. Carl wouldn't have any of it. He just ran and ran and took Katie along for the ride. Why they fled, I will never know. They peed in bushes, climbed in trees, and did their best to evade the cops. The cops simply told us that everyone had to leave, there was no need for Carl and Katie to flee. Why they bolted- I will never know.. The morning after I hear a knock on my door. It was Katie. They had slept in the car. Why? I have no idea. And that's the first time I met Carl. 

Carl's a great guy. He's always smiling, and if he's not smiling he's drinking. He even smiles when he drinks. I mostly see Carl at nighttime. I've only seem him midday once, and he didn't look too good. He was tired and grumpy, so maybe it's best I only see him at night. Carl can make anyone feel at ease and comfortable. He has one of the biggest personalities I have ever met, and he's sincere and genuine. One time Katie, Carl , Duncan and I were at a gay bar and after a couple drinks, Carl shouts,"Wow, gay people are fun!" I love Carl, and I'm almost sure you will too. 

part two.

I don't have an appetite for anything or anyone these days. I don't know what to eat anymore. Everything tastes the same, except beans, beans are pretty gross. I think I'm fighting a small bout of mild depression. I'm not really depressed, a bit melancholy but not depressed. I'm impatient and I want everything to go at microwave speeds. I got a plant and it's not growing. I water and even talk to it, but it's being stubborn.

Mo' money, mo' problems.

I don't really worry about money, I know I should but I don't. Maybe it's because I don't have much of it. It's like driving a fancy car. You have to park it far away in order to avoid dings and scratches from cars not as fancy as yours.

Remember to floss regularly. I know it sucks but you'll be happy you did it in the end. It's like going to the gym. You never regret going to the gym.

It's the small things in life that put a smile on my face. Like grabbing 'The Onion' and finding a blanket instead, and murals of tigers.

I think tomorrow will be better.

good times with my camera.

My favorite photo is the third one. It may be a bit distasteful to some but I really like it. I like the dark amber color, the hard lines, and the fact that you can't tell its pee unless someone tells you. I think I'm getting better and more comfortable with my camera, I guess it just took some time. 

In my next post I'm going to write about my friend Carl. We went out last night and had a really great time. It was his birthday recently, Happy Birthday Carl. 

My roommate Tiffany made some vegan pancakes and vegan or not they sure smell great!

The simple joys in life.

Today my three hour class was cancelled. That pretty much made my day. Some classmates and I decided it was too beautiful out to just go home, so we sat down on the grass and did some good old fashioned small talk. I realized that I've been living here in San Francisco for almost ten months now. I thought it'd be a good idea to keep a blog , more for myself really. It'll be an ideal place to upload some photos and hopefully I'll have some really cool stories to share and maybe years from now I can look back and reminisces about the days of past. It almost feels surreal that I live in San Francisco. When I decided to make the trek out the Bay Area I knew no one. I packed the few belongings I had in boxes, loaded them in my brother-in-law's truck and six hours later I was walking into who knows what. The first few months were hard on me. I didn't know my way around and I often felt lonely. I hate feeling sorry for myself but looking back at it now, I was such a schmuck. I should of gone to bars and made some friends. But school started and soon enough, my classmates became my friends. Fast forward ten months and here I am today. I have a great handful of friends, an awesome lover, and a decent place to live. Tonight I decided to go out for a drink, just to celebrate my ten months of residency here in San Francisco. Here's to you..